It started as a tiny buzzing in the center of my chest. A vibration that grew and spread until I felt it in my bones and throughout my entire body. It’s stayed with me constantly since I’ve arrived.
I notice it at odd times. When a gust of wind blows my hair into my face; when I’m walking home alone after work and the streets are dark and silent; when I hear the sound of rain pounding down on the roof.
I’m actually here, aren’t I?
Read MoreI’ve been thinking a lot about what I want to say to sum up this past year. My usual walkthrough of the ups and downs doesn’t have the same flow of years past, and it also doesn’t feel right to create a list or drone on in a long narrative. I just want to tell you about a couple of key things I learned that created a huge shift in my life for the year to come.
Read MoreAs I grew older, I got really, really sad, because I began to believe the lies that we are all told: that our deepest desires are impossible or unrealistic. I would never adventure in a far-off land with just a backpack and map. I would never be able to jump on a plane and explore an exotic location where nobody knew my name. These things were my childish daydreams. I gave it up.
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All my life I’ve felt pressure to know what I’m doing and where I’m headed. I always waited for the next milestone to reveal that path, that desire, to me.
Every time I expected a revelation, I was disappointed. Here’s my biggest secret: no career appeals to me, and no industry seems worth my while, when I got down to its core.
Read MoreMy birthday was a while ago, and many of these lessons were written back in January. It’s interesting though; despite the fact that I am the author of these lessons, reading them back a few months later when I finally felt up to finishing this list, it was as though I was reading them for the first time. I couldn’t figure out why it was taking me so long to write this until just now; it’s because this time is when I needed to hear them. It’s always so cool when my past self accidentally writes just the perfect thing for my future self to read.
